and raped. Enslaved?
"My name is Angelina Adut. I am a Dinka from Aweil. My home village is Nyamlel. I don't know how old I am because I was born in the village where there are no birth certificates. My parents never entered any school, therefore they don't know how to count dates. I am not married.
I was a virgin, and had remained so several years after my customary initiation into womanhood, although I was looking forward to getting engaged to a young man from the village.
My hopes were dashed overnight in I99I. That night our village was woken from sleep by violent sounds of gunshots. The Arab Murahliin had attacked the village. My father's household was gripped with panic and confusion.Top
The Arabs rode on horse-back and fired bullets at people and burned the grass huts. Many villagers were killed while trying to escape. I saw four men gunned down and I froze with fear.
I was among five women captured, in addition to the children whose mothers had abandoned while escaping the killing. The Murahilin looted cattle and goats. Top
We walked, at gun-point, for four days up to Da'ein. We were beaten and called many bad names. At the outskirts of Da'ein, we were ordered to settle at a big camp full of rough-looking Murahilin.
That night the other women were raped. There was this man called Hussein who wanted to rape me too. I put up a fight. He beat me using a hide whip. Top
He thought he would beat me into submission but I resisted. The other women saw something sinister in our struggle, so they advised me to give in lest I be killed because the Murahilin are renowned for ruthlessness. And so Hussein broke my virginity.
I stayed with Hussein for eight months and was already pregnant. Although we stayed together and shared one bed, I was not happy because he was not my husband but a brute who treated me like an animal, and he often forced me.Top
One day I made up my mind, I stole some of Hussein's money and ran away. I bought a train ticket and came to Khartoum where I found my mother and brothers at Al-Salama camp for the displaced people. This was a family reunion since we were separated on that unforgetable night at Nyamiel, when the Murahilin attacked.
One month after my arrival to the camp in I992 I gave birth to a baby boy with big red ears - a real Arab Murahliin. I was not happy with the baby because it was a boy. When I remembered how Hussein raped me and mistreated me I could not stomach the idea of bringing up a son of a Murahilin, because sons take after their fathers.Top
I wouldn't have cared if the baby was a girl, because girls take after their mothers- and after all, they get married anyway.
On the third night after I had delivered I made up my mind. I boldly gripped the sleeping baby by the neck and squeezed and squeezed until life went out of it.
In the morning we buried it and that was all. I don't feel guilty because
I have done away with that thing (mortal) which would otherwise be a living
memory of my rape and days in bondage. I am happy now because I ran
away from the torturing Murahilin". Top